The Charter for Compassion

The paleontological record is pretty clear.  We are the product of behavior modification that has continually altered our social systems and spurred cognitive and technological adaptation for as long as our ancestors have been classified as genus homo; latin for human.  All species of the genus, except homo sapiens sapiens, are now extinct.  We are the evolutionary victors from among 15 known in our evolutionary family. Our emerging history of the social evolution is as astonishing as it is enthralling.  Beyond mere "survival of the fittest" shared with all life on earth, there is compelling evidence of cooperation and mutual adaptation among our human cousin species that made us possible.  One example, we owe our amazing immune response to an incredibly rare interbreeding between homo sapiens and two archaic human species among whom our ancestors coexisted; homo neanderthalensis and denisova hominin.

Social evolution has always been characterized by gradual development... that is, until now.  Until the last two or three centuries. most of humankind lived much like their ancestors did for at least the last 10,000 years or so or since the emergence of agriculture.  We now live in a mechanized connected world dominated by rapid developments in technology and communication.  Social evolution has been replaced with social revolution.  In this escalating complexity, human society is undergoing change our biology could scarcely prepared us for.  Some say our very survival depends on how successfully we adapt.

The psychological strain of this unprecedented rate of change can not be overstated.  The fact our populations increasingly struggle to cope is self-evident.  Today, the fastest growing segment of the burgeoning mental health industry is the phenomenon of "pop" psychology and its companion; self-help.  This product is not necessarily esteemed for its credentials as vetted theory by accomplished psychologists, anthropologists, ethologists or neuroscientists but for their widespread reception by the general population.  It is often tailored to appeal directly to the prevailing "common sense" aesthetic of its intended target audience.

Self-help is not always incontrovertibly without value... but caution is advised.  Unchecked, some consumers find themselves running from one popularized concept to the next in a desperate search to find that single silver bullet to right everything wrong in their lives... often in a near addictive state.  However, considered and consumed in a thoughtful manner, some of this material can enhance our understanding and enlighten our perspective.

Technology, Entertainment, and Design (TED) is a nonprofit dedicated to "Ideas Worth Spreading."  This past June, author Karen Armstrong made her TED prize wish known: The Charter for Compassion.  It has already been affirmed by tens of thousands including His Holiness The Dalai Lama, Her Majesty Queen Noor of Jordan, His Eminence Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, the esteemed Dr. Seyyed Hossein Nasr and many many others.

I've long thought of Karen Armstrong as a sort of religious anthropologist; combining spirituality, history and human psychology.  Her book, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, is proving to be very thought provoking.  It presents a stunning fact based argument supporting the biological evolution of compassion and human altruism.  But more importantly, it focuses attention on the widening psychological disparity plaguing modern society in the 21st century.

As a solution, Ms, Armstrong suggests a concerted effort to advance the principles of compassion.  She speaks of a collective exploration to achieve a higher level of compassion beyond the generally passable, every day expectation of today.

While the steps outlined seem somewhat obvious and even cliché, I am impressed with her sense of urgency.  It compels me to look more closely at what she is proposing.  Sometimes the best solutions are the most straightforward... even in a complex world.  Cliché or not, I see value in her idea and the necessity for practice.

It may be too idealistic to hope for but lasting change is rarely immediate.  Any transformation, even on a personal level, would be promising.  I have no doubt I will walk away from this experience a little changed.

Good and Evil: Distinctions Blurred and Benefits Realized

Liberty Park - Salt Lake City Utah

Part 2

Moving forward two days; Independence Day!  My recent experiences still never too far from my thoughts, I attended two family functions; my own and that of my dearest friend.  I took great satisfaction enjoying the diversity of personalities.  Some call the quirky jostling "dysfunction" and "harmful."  I imagine unchecked it could be.  It certainly isn't always easy but difficulty isn't a reliable measure of harmfulness.

When we are injured and suffering either emotionally or physically, our ability to recognize and appreciate the miracle of family is often tremendously diminished.  Patience and understanding are always the first to be sacrificed in such situations.  I am all too guilty of this and know this to be true.

I know my family... and in optimal condition, I understand and appreciate them the way they should.  This holiday was nearly optimal for me.  I so enjoyed their company.  Yet, as we said our goodbyes, I regret not all of us were feeling optimal and a poor choice of words set into motion hurt and suffering.  I left beleaguered; not knowing how to help make things right.

Then something extraordinary happened.  For maybe the first time, I found myself in a very familiar setting; comfortably enjoying family... but not my family.  I'm usually quiet and shy and maybe, to a certain degree, I still was but I experienced something unique... at least to me.  I noticed a familiar dynamic.  The players were different yet they shared the same identical personality characteristics I grew up with in my family... except there, they were totally redistributed as if like a deck of cards where they were shuffled and all dealt new hands.  I could see aspects of my parents, sisters, brother, nieces and nephews all represented in unique combinations.  The reactions and interactions played out in familiar ways... right down to the moments of hurt and suffering.

I think what was so extraordinary about the experience was which personalities acted and reacted.  Like watching a familiar movie shot from completely different angles, it provided some much needed insight into the inner-workings of my own family because I wasn't emotionally vested in any of the outcomes. Too often we take for granted our abilities to weather criticisms and judgements.  Too often we take for granted our abilities to read and anticipate the moods and reactions of those so near and dear to us.

Our most intimate relationships are our families.  They are both the safest and most dangerous of all relationships in an emotional sense due to their profound nature.  Mormon doctrine teaches we foresaw our lives, our living conditions, our life companions, and we "lept for joy" in anticipation for our earthly existence.  I share that belief.  But I also have the nagging suspicion that these intimate relationships we call family are far far more complex and older than we dare imagine.

I believe in a cyclical process of life and learning where we live again and again until all of life's lessons are learned; perhaps not reincarnation in the common sense but something.  Those we know as family follow us from probation to probation.  We continue to play profound roles in each others lives... because we have unique lessons to learn from one another.  Our bond truly is eternal.

Popular psychology likens healthy living to cleaning out one's garage.  In their opinion, it is a garage filled with the junk of our own making where choice pieces may be dusted off and repurposed but the majority of seemingly broken and useless trash should be quickly and unceremoniously tossed in the garbage and carted off for disposal.  Some even espouse, for the sake of a clean garage, to just torch it and all its contents and move on rebuilding a new garage without looking back.

I view my garage differently.  It's something inherited where I was promised I could find all the needed tools and supplies for successful and healthy living.  Sure, I may have added a few things in my time as owner... the dust bunnies, a few discarded burrito wrappers and the occasional cup and straw but the shelves remain relatively untouched.  You see, the previous owner was something of a MacGyver.   In his case, he had eons of creative experience and an intimate knowledge of who I am.  Turns out those shelves of seemingly eclectic trash aren't worthless after all... and the act of sorting and cataloguing the multifarious collection provides me with the increased ability to respond effectively and creatively to all of life's challenges.

Our families, for good and especially bad, help us learn to respond effectively and creatively to life's ups and downs if we but take the time to properly sort and catalogue.  We glean real experience and practical knowledge from the high pressure interactions of such an intimacy that only family can provide.  Only then will we not take for granted those tools and supplies we were given.  It is a difficult task that takes a lifetime of struggle... with no hope of complete success.

In short, we inherit a pile of junk from our parents.  Spend a lifetime trying to sort it all out.  Then end up passing it on to the next generation.  Like it or not, this is the beauty and continuity of cyclical progression.

"If you don't have the right equipment for the job, you just have to make it yourself." 

~ MacGyver

Good and Evil: Where do we place the bar?

Pražský Orloj - Prague Czech Republic

Part 1

"Are there, infinitely varying with each individual, inbred forces of Good and Evil in all of us, deep down below the reach of mortal encouragement and mortal repression -- hidden Good and hidden Evil, both alike at the mercy of the liberating opportunity and the sufficient temptation?"

~ William Wilkie Collins

I had a very thought provoking holiday weekend.  It started Saturday at my building's swimming pool with my nephews noticing something at the bottom of the deep end...

The actual act of swimming down, turning over, noticing the near severed tongue, staring into the wide lifeless eyes of someone still 9 feet below the surface, then cradling his cold discolored body, pushing through to the surface cheek to cheek, feeling no pulse or life... there was something oddly peaceful and reassuring in that moment; a palpable sense of the continuity of both life and spirit.  The imagery was uncomfortable at first... because it was unfamiliar.  I've had to process it and accept it.  However, the accompanying behavior and reaction from the poor man's family continue to trouble me.

As we broke the surface of the pool, I called out for help.  They snorted and asked if I was kidding yet still couldn't be bothered to pull themselves up from their lounge chairs.  I struggled to push him out onto the deck.  They looked on with only mild interest letting two young men rush in to help.  As my friend and mother approached to start CPR only then did one of them venture close to curb her morbid curiosity.  Realizing it was her brother, she went completely bizerk hysterical.  Soon the man's adult daughters and his wife joined in.  In all my life, I have never seen such a transformation from complete indifference to human life to an unspeakable level of insanity.  Wailing, pounding, screaming, howling, pushing, flailing, tossing things about... it caused indescribable panic and fright among the small children present.  So horrifying in ways no dead body ever could be, the young had to be whisked away in states of shock and disbelief.

I watched my mother, whom I adore with all my heart, struggle in her failing elderly body to do what she could to save that man.  I imagined in that moment it was her lying there and asked myself if I could ever have reacted like this man's family... to scoff at pleas for help, to decline involvement in a stranger's moment of desperate need, and then have a complete disregard for the safety and wellbeing of the young in a moment of grief.  I realize these people were under extreme duress but does that excuse their actions?  Like someone who instinctively hides behind a child during a shootout, there's something not quite right... something fundamentally broken.

It seems such behavior is now considered the norm... and excusable.  "We all react to emergency situations differently."  "They were in shock."  "You can't really blame them given the circumstance."  And my personal favorite, "How would YOU feel?!!!"  Really?  Is this really ok?  Are we excused to act like this now?  What does this say about our evolving human sensibilities?  What does this say of us as a civilized people and of our culture?

I am terribly troubled by ordinary acts of compassion and human decency being considered extraordinary while shameful acts of cowardice and selfishness are considered acceptable and even normal.  Returning someone's lost valuables isn't noble... it's proper!  Pulling someone from a pool isn't courageous... it's decent!  Protecting those who can't protect themselves whether they be young, old, infirm or just unaware isn't heroic... it's humane! We shouldn't be astonished by good behavior.  We should be horrified by bad.

(To be continued)