15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

"We didn't choose our religion or moral values, or any concept at all.  But we agreed with these beliefs, and once we agreed, it was stored in our memory."  Don Miguel Ruiz.

This has been making the rounds again on Facebook and email.  I though I'd repost it here since I feel it's really worth contemplation.  I'm "borrowing" it from the Purpose Fairy... Which I'm assuming is the originator of this content but I could be wrong.  Check them out at:

The Purpose Fairy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Yuletide Greetings!

I actually dislike the term Christmas.  I tend to lean more to Yuletide but if I say that many think I'm trying a bit too hard.  Like many Christian theologians and cultural historians, I think of Christmas as an arbitrary date set aside by earlier Christians to celebrate the birth of their savior, an opportunity to assume an older tradition and capitalize on it for their benefit.  There really is little to connect it to Christianity but a lot to connect it to pre-Christian northern European paganism.

I view this time of year as a celebration of loved ones, tradition, and to honor the enduring human spirit.  It's a time to feast and turn one's attention to others, to contemplate what is truly meaningful in one's life.  It's a time of offerings, a time of charitable acts, a time of forgiveness, and a time of brotherly and sisterly love, acceptance, and appreciation.  It is an honoring of humanity itself and transcends religion and ethnicity.  Well, at least that's how I view it.

Alas, some think they have exclusive rights to the holiday and are often offended whenever the term Christmas isn't used.  I feel badly for those so tainted by our sectarian predispositions.  They often miss out on the joy of the season when contemplating such irrelevancies.

Trip the Light: The Invitation

To Trip the Light Fantastic:
To dance nimbly or lightly 
To move in a pattern to musical accompaniment.

If all the days that come to pass

Are behind these walls

I’ll be left at the end of things

In a world kept small

Travel far from what I know

I’ll be swept away

I need to know

I can be lost and not afraid

We’re gonna trip the light

We’re gonna break the night

And we’ll see with new eyes

When we trip the light

Remember we’re lost together

Remember we’re the same

We hold the burning rhythm in our hearts

We hold the flame

We’re gonna trip the light

We’re gonna break the night

And we’ll see with new eyes

When we trip the light

We’re gonna trip the light

We’re gonna break the night

And we’ll see with new eyes

When we trip the light

I’ll find my way home

On the Western wind

To a place that was once my world

Back from where I’ve been

And in the morning light I’ll remember

As the sun will rise

We are all the glowing embers

Of a distant fire

We’re gonna trip the light

We’re gonna break the night

And we’ll see with new eyes

When we trip the light

Come on and trip the light

We’re gonna break the night

And we’ll see with new eyes

We’re gonna trip the light

We’re gonna trip the light

We’re gonna break the night

And we’ll see with new eyes

When we trip the light

Music: Garry Schyman ©

Lyrics: Alicia Lemke and Matt Harding ©

Available now in the iTunes Music Store

I must say, I LOVE this song.  The lyrics so eloquently articulate an incredibly unifying principal of true ethical or, dare I say, Christian living.  In a world filled with so much intolerance both at home and abroad, I delight in this invitation to not keep our world small and discover how much a like we truly are.  "We are all the glowing embers of a distant fire."  And that fire is known by many names and imagined in many forms.  The human race is a tremendous creation yet, remarkably, it goes to great lengths in refusing to acknowledge and celebrate its divine diversity!

Thank you for sharing, Matt Harding!

http://www.wherethehellismatt.com

Mormons Just Believe: A Lighthearted Departure

"What the ƒ⩏⋤⋉ is this?!"

The Tony Award winning Musical, The Book or Mormon, is a religious satire.  It pokes fun at organized religion, makes light of things some may consider too sacred, and in parts, it's down right filthy.  But having only seen bits and pieces and reading the reviews, the one thing it doesn't seem to do is attack Mormons personally.  They celebrate their strengths even if they make light of their weaknesses... something a lot of us actually do even with our family and friends.

The few doctrinal errors and over-generalizations aside, I think this song sums up the religious experience for many.  Feel free to interpret this however you want.  I believe those for and against can take away a message here.  Personally, I think it's just fun and entertaining.

The Morality and Ethics of Redemption

Blasphemy:

The act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about God or sacred things; profane talk. 

Heresy:

Belief or opinion contrary to orthodox religious doctrine.  Opinion profoundly at odds with what is generally accepted.

I would like to clarify something for those exceedingly troubled by my personal views.  I am not a blasphemer.  I am a heretic.  While I am sure there are some who make little distinction between the two and find both vile and beneath contempt, I use the word heretic in its proper context and with its true meaning.

I have spoken of Jesus as the archetypal man; the one to emulate to overcome error and realize immortality.  I have also spoken to my belief that christ and redeemer aren't titles for a divine third party but actually reflect introspective metaphysical roles we must learn to take on ourselves for ourselves; as the fabled Jesus did.

Many Christian traditionalists have taken severe issue with my views and some have asked for clarification as to why I would believe such things.  Now, I will attempt to be clear and direct but I trust you will not feel it reflects judgment on you.  It is not my purpose or intent to condemn your revered beliefs.  I only wish to share mine.  I do not claim a higher understanding.

To put it succinctly, I consider vicarious redemption by sacrifice to be immoral... be it animal, human, or divine in nature.  It is reminiscent of an archaic custom practiced by primitive societies where they would ritualistically pile the sins of the tribe on an animal and drive it out into the wilderness to perish.  In so doing, they would rid themselves of their sins.  This is the etymological basis for what we know as scapegoating.  I find the idea that through the punishment of another life my sins can be forgiven to be reprehensible.  It nullifies personal responsibility; the one thing on which all morality, ethics, and our very integrity depend.

This is why I embrace the gnostic tradition of many early Christians and view Jesus not as God but as teacher.  He didn't take away our responsibility.  He didn't undo our errors.  He didn't have a need to forgive us.  He did, however, demonstrate a philosophy for undertaking all of this.  Redemption isn't a single quantitative act.  It's an ongoing qualitative journey of self.

"It is his capacity for self-improvement and self-redemption which most distinguishes man from the mere brute."

 ~ Aung San Suu Kyi - Freedom from Fear

Forget Me Not

A Lesson in Personal Perspective

One artist of the faith I greatly admire is Dieter Uchtdorf.  While he does embrace much of the orthodox dogma I reject, he spends much of his time speaking to the more founding principles of the Christian movement.  In doing so, he engenders a respect and inclusiveness not always representative in orthodoxy.  For these reasons I consider him my favorite among LDS theologians.

Due to his polished and eloquent nature, instead of paraphrasing, I'd like to share a few excerpts from one of his uniquely focused addresses given to the Relief Society.  Dieter outlined his five pedals of the Forget-Me-Not.

Forget Not to be Patient with Yourself

"I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.  Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not. 

And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does. 

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.  It’s wonderful that you have strengths.  And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses. 

Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey."

Forget Not the Difference Between the Good and Foolish Sacrifice

"An acceptable sacrifice is when we give up something good for something of far greater worth. 

Every person and situation is different, and a good sacrifice in one instance might be a foolish sacrifice in another. 

How can we tell the difference for our own situation? We can ask ourselves, “Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?” There are so many good things to do, but we can’t do all of them. Our Heavenly Father is most pleased when we sacrifice something good for something far greater with an eternal perspective." 

Forget Not to be Happy Now

"There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings—we hope and seek after things that are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.”  The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event—our golden ticket—to appear. 

This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life. 

The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy."

Forget Not the "Why" of the Gospel

"While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet."

Forget Not the Lord Loves You

"Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!"

As I struggled to sum up my feelings at the close of this General Conference, an unlikely source of clarity presented itself in his untimely death.

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." 

~ Steve Jobs - 2005 Commencement Address, Stanford University

We need not be limited by another's thinking.  Ideas are fluid and are only limited by our imagination and intellect.  Wisdom may be found anywhere we have the patience to look.  Because one intends to lead us down a particular path of particular thinking, that doesn't mean we must necessarily go.  We can learn to follow our own intuition and find our own path.  But it's important to remember not to be too focused on our own trailblazing and ignore the insights of other travelers we meet on those rare occasions our paths do cross.

Conference is an exchange of ideas.  They are not set by established dogma.  We are free to ponder and interpret them as our personal experience and need requires.  This is how I left Conference.

Conference: An Intricate Weave

The School of Athens by Raphael
The Apostolic Palace, Vatican City 1511

Philosophy is to empirical knowledge as axiom is to theorem and poetry is to prose.

Our technology has advanced sufficiently that we are now able to test the veracity of much of our surviving mythology but faith and religion are much more than just a collection of stories.  They are a collection of philosophical ideals wrapped in allegory.  In our science biased world, we want to treat religion as a form of empirical knowledge; something to be proven before it is accepted.  This, in our current stage of intellectual evolution, misses the point entirely.

By its very nature, philosophy is magnificently adaptable.  It is an intricate weave of logic and reason, fiction and fact whose resulting complexity lends itself to near infinite range of interpretation and perspective.  It can broaden the mind and lift the soul.  In essence, it can add meaning and dimension to every day living... all without requiring fiduciary evidence.

I don't need to be a believing devotee of the faith to find Conference useful.  I do, however. need to be a respecter of the artist to fully appreciate his work.  This is how I head into Conference.

“Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.” 

~ Alan Moore, V for Vendetta